Last week a few people asked me what the difference between a doctor and nurse practitioner was.   I thought I’d take the time to explain.

-Nurse practitioners diagnose medical problems/Doctors diagnose medical ailments

-Nurse practitioners prescribe medications/Doctors have prescription writing privileges

-Nurse practitioners inspect the body/Doctors perform physical exams

-Nurse practitioners discuss ways to stay healthy/Doctors explain the importance of health care maintenance

Anybody noticing anything yet?  Good…the point being nurse practitioners perform the same as a physician…everything’s the same, except the salary.

Thought I would also educate you on some medical diagnoses I’ve seen in my career:

  • Whinorrhea – patients who whine a lot.
  • Vitamin IQ deficiency – lack of basic intelligence.
  • Ridiculitis – because every symptom needs respect
  • Occular Rectal Fistula –  having a shitty outlook on life.
  • Microdeckia –  not playing with a full deck
  • Hilton Sign –  patients who expect upscale hotel-like service at their provider’s office
  • Webachondria –  worrying about all the worst possibilities after reading the internet.
  • Bugs In the Rug –  pubic lice.
  • Anal Glaucoma –  can’t see my ass coming to work today.

I think I can feel myself coming down with a case of that last one…it’s going around.


And that is the end of this week’s blog…feel free to send me medical questions

(I just can’t promise that my answers will be legit…)