I am the mother of two girls, 10 and 13 as well as a 15 year old boy. They are growing and maturing…(um, strike that maturing part) they are growing faster than I can keep up with them.
My son likes to wear clothes slightly larger than his actual size which means he’s only wearing a size smaller than my husband (who’s fun size, as some might say). He also likes to wear the exact same type of underwear as my husband.
Now I don’t know about anyone else who has teens, but laundry for 5 people builds up fast. I have to force myself to get the dreaded 17 load task done every weekend. Asking my family to kindly sort out who’s underwear is who’s is like asking me to turn down a shot of tequila in a room full of hot Latino men. (No, I have no idea why my husband still loves me but maybe it’s because he is the ONLY hot Latino man in my life right now…I mean, in my life)
Anyway, the point being I never get the clothes back to their rightful owners. My husband has my son’s underwear, my son has my husband’s, and they both get annoyed with me. I can’t help it…how the hell am I supposed to see the slight difference in size between two sets of boxer briefs both made by Hanes?
The way I see it, I did the laundry, let them play musical underwear amongst themselves…my job is done.
Which brings me to why I wrote this post in the first place. I went to work the other day and noticed my undies were a little tight. I figured I ate too much pasta the night before and didn’t pay much attention to the fact, until midafternoon when they really started irritating me right in the ole’ groin area.
I decided to check on things and noticed I had on my daughter’s underwear. No, not the ten year old’s but my 13 year old’s skivvies. Now that was a problem…it was one thing to mix up the boys underwear because seriously, who gives a crap, but to mix up my daughter’s undies with mine was a major issue.
We shop a lot together and she and I will sometimes buy the same pairs in different sizes. Not an issue until it comes time to fold and sort laundry. Seriously, I can not be the only mother or father out there who mistakenly wears their kid’s undies and if you say I am, then you’re lying.
And since we are on the topic of underwear, there is another debate going on in our household about the purchasing of underwear. I was in Kohl’s one day and my son told me he needed boxer brief underwear, the kind with legs that are slightly longer than regular ones for running purposes. Not a big deal, or so I thought. I had my girls with me and was searching through the rows of men’s underwear for size Small. I asked the girls to help me and my 13 year old was mortified.
“Mom, I can’t believe you’re asking us to help you…isn’t this illegal or something?”
I had no idea what she was talking about. “Since when did buying underwear become illegal?”
My ten year old agreed with her sister. “Um Mom, I don’t think I should be seeing stuff like this until I am way older.”
I looked around me and realized what they were talking about. Now, I’ve been a nurse practitioner for twenty years and have seen more bodies in skivvies than I care to count. Sadly, I have become immune to the effects of men in their underwear, as I came to acknowledge that day in Kohl’s. This is what surrounded us…
I realized my dilemma and noticed a few people were staring at me…it never occurred to me that this particular section of Kohl’s should have been rated ‘M’ for Mature Audiences only but jeez, it’s just underwear…
So my son did not get any underwear that day, my two daughters got an early education on the male anatomy and my family continues to yell at me when I don’t give out the right underwear.
Here’s what I have to say about it all…