Did you ever have an innocent conversation with someone only to have it completely misinterpreted by that person and the more you tried to explain yourself, the worse it got?
It happened to me a short while back and led to what I thought was a hilarious take on the simplest of things. My husband, well, he might not agree so much on the hilarity of it all. Instead of telling you about it, I am going to re-enact the scene to put it in better perspective.
(Accurate account except for names which were changed to protect people’s privacy)
Setting: Hubby and I are driving home from back to school night, he’s driving. My good friend Lynn is sitting in the backseat, having hitched a ride with us. On my way to work that same morning, I had left a home grown zucchini on her doorstep.
Lynn: Hey, thanks for leaving us that zucchini! That was from you, right?
Me: Yeah, it was the last one I grew and I know you wanted one if we had extra.
Lynn: Thank you, that was sweet
Me: And your husband Ben enjoyed it too.
(Hubby’s eyebrows raise but he remains quiet)
Me: Yeah, he prepared it nicely
Hubby: What are you guys talking about?
(I guess he had zoned out until he heard “your husband” prepared something)
Me: Zucchini. Ben prepared it and put it on a plate.
Hubby: His ZUCCHINI???
Me: Yeah, his zucchini. It was beautiful. He even had sauce in the middle. He asked me to come get some but I told him I’d had more zucchini than I could handle this summer.
We almost crash
Hubby: Hold on…WHAT? You’re talking about Lynn’s husband, the fireman, who took out his zucchini, put it on a plate with sauce in the middle and then ASKED YOU TO COME GET SOME!
Lynn is in the back seat doubled over in hysterics, tears running down her cheeks
Me: Uh, yeah. What’s the big deal. He even texted me a picture. Wanna see?
Hubby: NO, I DON’T WANT TO SEE BEN’S ZUCCHINI AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE LOOKING AT IT EITHER!!!
Me: What the hell is wrong with you?
Hubby: I’m going to have a nice little chat with Ben, that’s what.
Thankfully we reached Lynn’s house and still laughing hysterically, she gets out.
Lynn: I haven’t laughed that hard in forever! Thank you both!
She goes inside, hubby and I go home and needless to say, no zucchini gets served that night
Moral of the Story:
If you’re a male, don’t text pics of your zucchini with sauce to other men’s wives, especially if you’re a fireman
If you’re a female whose friend’s husband shows you a pic of his zucchini with sauce, keep it to yourself. Some things are better left unsaid.
If you’re the wife of the fireman who is sending out pics of his zucchini with sauce to other married women, WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?????
(This post is dedicated to Lynn and Ben, who my hubby and I (still) love dearly and who are very good sports, but also two people who will NEVER get another vegetable from my garden EVER again,…it might lead to our divorce)